Keep Going

More than a year later, I think about those words you said to me.

The last words you said to me. 

Over and over and over again. 

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

The words echoed in my head after you said them for hours and hours.

Until my mom called to tell me the news.

The words stopped echoing in that moment.

The world froze.

Weeks went by and then I could hear them again, creeping up in the back of my mind.

Keep going. 

Keep going.

Keep going.

Finally, I thought I understood what they meant.

The words, now permanently etched on my arm, were a reminder.

A reminder to keep pushing.

When it felt like I was swimming through concrete, to never let it harden around me.

Keep going.

Keep going. 

Keep going.

A reminder that I need to give it a try.

A reminder that sometimes giving it a try is enough. A reminder that sometimes success feels like failure.

I made the hardest decision of my life because all I could hear were your words.

Keep going. 

Keep going. 

Keep going.

What I once thought was a reminder to push through, 

Was actually encouragement to take life by the reins.

To take anything standing in my way and push it to the ground.

To finally live my life for me and to

Keep going. 

Keep going.

Keep going.

The fear is gone now and it’s replaced with your strength. 

The words you said to me have manifested into much more than I ever knew possible.

I see your beauty in everything and I can hear you telling me you’re proud.

I can hear you reminding me that enough was never enough for me.

Reminding me of the insatiable hunger deep down.

I can hear you telling me to

Keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going.

I couldn’t see at first, but now I see.

The life you envisioned for me.

I wanted you to be here for it.

But I look around and I see that you are with me.

And I will 

Keep going.

Keep going. 

Keep going.